So, I might be posting a lot in the next few days, in order to ease myself into work mode. I have lots and lots of stuff to do. But, funnily enough, no motivation with which to do it. I have plenty of ADD, need for caffeine, long strolls, visits to news websites, long lunches, short and long visits from co-workers who I haven’t seen in 2 weeks, email checking, g-chatting, even some list making, but really I just want to go back home, and snuggle up with my dog and read a book. I mean, it’s negative 9 degrees here. What else should we be doing? Also, it is treacherous to walk/drive around on the side streets of Minneapolis. The streets were melty, and then it froze solid, so they are now frozen over, lumpy, ice rinks. Everything is ice-crusted. Curbs are deadly to navigate.
Shocked by my malaise? OK, fine. No. But, here’s the deal, I really want to blog more, and I also have a small writing project in the works, along the lines of some memoir and journal writing, etc. I am so not interesting in writing anything remotely memoir-ish. Could it be, that blogging has taken the place of the memoir (in my mind)? Anyway, I am starting the new year off by procrastinating (see why I don’t make resolutions?). And, I have a fiction project that needs attention, but I seem to be lacking the willpower to make myself do it.
Wolverine believes there is no such thing as willpower, or what the modern perception of willpower is anyway. For instance, he says, if a naked person ran in front of me, I probably could not will myself to not look. Or, something like that. I don’t exactly agree with Wolverine, and it makes for a lively discussion at our house. Personally, I think he is conflating willpower with discipline. And, if we didn’t have willpower, we’d never show up to where we need to, eat our vegetables, get enough sleep, etc. Now discipline is something I do lack. In order to be a successful writer you need to have discipline to make it work. This craft takes practice! And, more practice. It’s lonely…. sigh. If I was more disciplined, I would have finished a whole bunch of “important to me” stuff by now, right? Or, not. It could just be that I am busy, that it’s WINTER, that I’m lazy, that The Kid keeps me from doing stuff. Oh, I know, it’s not fair to blame The Kid. But, listen, he makes me tired. He couldn’t sleep last night and was up until 11, on a school night. I even game him warm milk! It’s all his fault. Don’t you see???
What’s your take, is willpower a construct that can’t be exacted? Can Super Mon find discipline? These are the burning issues of our time (or at least this blog)